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In Manhattan, I can point out Long Islanders. I know I am from Long Island, but as with most people I associate with, when we're walking in Manhattan not many people would know. It's repulsing that these people represent us: black stretch pants, ugg boots, a hoodie, hair in a clip, huge sunglasses, so over tanned they have white sunspot damage all over their skin. Gross...seriously I want to move just so these people don't represent where I live. I don't understand how people think they are attractive...sometimes when I am sick, I admit that I may leave my house to get medicine in a hoodie and sweatpants, but that is because I am SICK, I would never get on a train and walk around Manhattan. Maybe I'm a bitch.

I think I'm old-fashioned. Whenever I try to write a DVD review, or anything for that matter, I try to type it first but end up writing on paper then typing and editing. I do better work that way. I know it's more time consuming...but maybe being an English major did this to me! ha

I think when I start writing in here again, I'm either A) really excited about something or B) on the verge of a mental breakdown. I have no reason to feel so down right now, but I do. I'm trying hard to stop analyzing everything, but right now is one of those times that I feel like my skin is so thick that I can't feel anything. I feel that I'd have to bite a chunk of skin out to reach any nerves.

I'm excited to go out tonight...I think it will distract my mind and right now that's a good thing.

I think Dave is going to take me to see Baby Mama on Sunday. I'm looking forward to that, maybe laughing will change my mood. I want to see The Ruins, also.

I have to write this review right now...Poultrygeist. It's a Troma film.

Whoop there it is.


1) Next week I start training for my new position as counter manager at the Elizabeth Arden cosmetics counter in Macy's Hicksville! Though it's not my primary goal in life, I am very excited to learn more about cosmetics, especially since it will help me with freelance gigs.

2) Tomorrow I find out if I can even apply to switch programs at Queens College. I had applied to Elementary Ed for the Fall,  but now I'm trying to hurry and switch to Secondary Ed. Crossing my fingers!

3) This Friday I'm actually going to Molly Bloom's! Yay!

4) I've been bikeriding with Dave every so often and it's awesome! I haven't even had a bike in years.

5) With my tax return coming, I can pay off half my credit card debt! (Worry about student loans after my Masters!)

6) I have no work tomorrow, but I'm gonna be lame and clean/relax/watch movies/read all night. haha I just bought Choke by Chuck Paluniuk. Wooh.

Jan. 15th, 2008


I barely ever post here anymore. if I have anything really personal to expel from my brain, I put it in my actual journal. I post occasionally on here to give an update, almost like a time line for myself and friends. I love the archive feature on LJ because I can just click any date and look back.

For my time line. I will give an update on what I am doing right now. I still work at Ihop in Bay Shore & Hicksville all different days. I'm interning at FANGORIA MAGAZINE! I'm so excited. The past two days I've been reading and editing articles all day. Also been writing captions for some photographs. I chose to only go two days a week since I do need to make some money. It's good that they give me most of the money for my LIRR ticket though! Supposedly in July I will be starting the Masters Program for Elementary Education at Queens College. I'm shooting to maybe get a position at either Fangoria or another publication before that point. If Fangoria's not hiring when I'm done, maybe having a NYC publication on my resume will help me get a different job.

This Saturday, was really great. While Dave was in band practice, I shot photographs for hours in the cemetery nearby in Queens. It was amazing, they will soon be up on my myspace account. Right now I only put up some photos from the Museum of the Moving Image. I love love loved it.

Oh well night night! I'm exhausted from walking so much the past two days! <3

Autumn breezes

 So the past few weeks have been interesting and very, very productive. I am very close to sending my application in for Queens College. I'm waiting for my 2nd letter of reccomendation from one of my Professors to come in the mail. I also have to write my 500-word essay and fill out the actual application. My transcripts are sent already, yay! 

I went back to Levittown School District and re-applied to get my job back at the Afterschool Program and I am pretty much ready to be on the Substitute Teacher list in all of Levittown School District as soon as transcripts are sent from Hofstra.

The only thing left is to put in 2 weeks at my current office...but I am waiting until I get a waitressing job at night before I can quit. I need something more concrete than subbing since I would be on a call list when teachers get called out. I went to take an Aptitude test at Outback in Westbury today. It was a weird test: 30 in-depth math questions and 100 Personality questions. I always hate those because I feel like they are trying to trick you by asking very similar questions. Oh well, I will see how I did tomorrow. :) 

I saw Bjork on Monday night...AMAZING. She played a more techno-y version of "Hyperballad". It was such a high energy show. And as usual Bjork was amazingly beautiful. Michelle and I were dancing a little. I enjoyed our little double date with Michelle and Johnny. 

Dave's parents are going away for a week...and I'm working every single fucking day that they are gone. I'm still going to stay there with him and Mr. Biggs. I'm trying to pay off a lot of my debt so Dave's going to have dinner cooked for me every night when I'm off of work. It's very nice & romantic. I am going to visit Wicked while I am staying at Dave's, I can't leave my lil baby home all week without me! My family does take great care of her now, she's part of the family like Petri. 

I had a rough day today concerned about my financial situation, so I am going to make a list of things to look forward to in October! 

-Assemblage 23 & Interface (Amanda's cousin, Justin is playing drums for Interface): Oct 5th
-Chiller Theatre Horror Convetion: Oct 6th 
-Gina's Wedding (from work): Oct 12th
-Down at Roseland: Oct 25th
-Going out for Cat's 21st: Oct 26th
-Frightfest: one Sunday
-Hopefully find time to pick pumpkins! Carve and make pie!
-Cher & Tommy's Halloween Party: Oct 27th 
-Michelle's Costume Bday party: Oct 28th
-Goth Halloween Party in Nyc: Oct 30th

I like walking around barefoot when I work nights at the office.

I like it even better when I finally get off a Saturday and I am going to a Comedy Club on Friday night :)

It's getting better all the time....

Back to work. ARGH. I don't want to complain, but I know there will be drama today with my work schedule and I am not going to be taken advantage of.

I think I am going to start looking into Master's programs today. I have a few ideas of what I would like to do. I just know that I don't want to go to a highly expensive grad school, like I did with my Bachelor's degree. Ew.

These past few days I have been thinking a lot and I realized a lot of things about myself. I ALSO realized the last night that I stayed in sick, that I have had the Freaks and Geeks complete series sitting in my room and should have been watching it this entire time. Oh well. I started last night and I love it. :)

Time for sick sit-ups to start my day since I'm incapable of cardio right now.  :p

Fitter, happier, more productive...

I am the sickest I've been in A WHILE. Wicked has laid by my feet the entire time I've been sick. :) Currently I am eating Vegetable soup which I can barely taste. I am enjoying The Baxter, which reminds me of a fun time I had in the city for a movie screening, I met Michael Showalter, and had a fun dinner. And yet here I am bored and contemplating so many aspects of my life.

My 25th Birthday just passed and it was actually a really, really great week. I spent time with so many people who wanted to celebrate my life with me on different days. Last Friday we went to Molly Bloom's and I got my complimentary bottle of champagne for my birthday and danced all night and had fun. I woke with Amanda and Justin to go to Ihop and go swimming. :) Then on my actual birthday I received gifts from friends at work and a cake! Also, my friend who I thought was never going to speak to me again left a card on my desk. After work I arrived home to a mini-surprise party thrown by my sister! It was so thoughtful and my FIRST birthday party in general since I was five. (Except my mini-bbq at Michelle's two years ago). On Saturday night a bunch of other friends who weren't around on Friday or Tues, went to Houlihan's and out bar-hopping with me. Sunday was the perfect summer day, woke up from drinking, walked down the beach with Jess, etc and ate & drank Margaritas at the Beach House in Long Beach. 

I tried all week not to think about the negative aspects of my current situation...
Last weekend I was hurt again by the same people that have hurt me before. I may have hurt them as well at one point, or maybe just one of them, but not intentionally. Like I was telling Jonathan the other day; anytime I feel like I do the right thing for myself, there are serious consequences that somehow follow and negate it for me. I try so hard to erase these thoughts from my mind...and try to focus on the positive but as I do so, I have nightmares each night. Sometimes they are just horror movie nightmares, others are my true feelings seeping out since I've been hiding them. I've seen the ugly side of people these past few months, as they may have seen the ugly side of me from their perspective. I just wish that they would see that I've done all I can to help and keep things together and that I made my decisions thinking that it would help not only me, but others as well. So many little details are reminders of my past, things that can never be brought back. And I'm not even talking about recent past, I mean over the years. Things that I wonder if I should have handled differently, things that I wish other people handled/felt differently about.

I just got sidetracked and needed a drink and cough drop for my sore throat.

Everything happens for a reason. If you don't take risks, what's the point?

Go to this website: Last Hope Animal Adoption.
These animals are so cute and need homes. They are all saved from either being out in the wild, or unjustly put to sleep in a shelter. Amanda's mom volunteers there and I attempted to, but my allergies are too bad. It's a really small place but they really take great care of these cats and actually play with them each day so they become friendly with people. :) There is a dog adoption in Lindenhurst that I haven't been to yet.

Anyway, I haven't been writing much in the livejournal world. I've just been busy with summer and working and trying to hangout a lot. Right now, I am happy with everyone that is in my life. Amanda and I were talking about this, how in the past we have had shitty friends and we are so lucky to have such a great, fun group now! :) Also, there's this boy, that makes me smile a lot. And a kitten, that makes me smile when she doesn't cut my wrist & lip to wake me up. haha

If you haven't seen Battle Royale, watch it, it's amazing. I loved it so much. The concept is fun, but I'm not going to spoil it for anyone else.

I can't wait for Dawn to come home from London! She's so lucky. :)

You don't have to put on the red light....

So today I was in an eh mood...so why not go get a needle through my nose? ha So I got my nose RE-pierced. I missed it a lot. Others, did not apparently, and others said you look like the 'old tina'. : )

I haven't updated in awhile and it's primarily because I've been running around either working or hanging out excessively or watching movies in my room with my kitten, Wicked. Wicked is the love of my life, she follows me around EVERYWHERE, she already fell into the shower twice while I was showering!

This week, I have been becoming re-aquainted with a lot of friends from my past. I like it a lot. By the end of this month, I will have seen 3 friends who live in other states, who I haven't seen in like 4 yrs! Yesterday/last night was Fire Island, where I met a lot of new people that I actually like...had a nice dinner, walked around, played some games that didn't work, and drank Rocket Fuel.

Right now I am at Chrispenis' house with Katie...Christina is getting ready to leave for Las Vegas at 4:30am. I've been thinking that in the past 2 years I have met a lot of people who actually mean a lot to me really fast. On another note, there is one friend who I feel SOO distant from and who wasn't really there when I needed her. This person, I felt so close to right away and felt was so caring about me, that we would never let anything come between us...and then my last break-up happened and even though I still talk to her, things have changed so much. I know that the person I broke up with has been her close friend for 10 yrs...and her and I have only been close friends for like 4, but the way things panned out sucked, really bad for her and my friendship. So instead of breaking up with one person, I felt like it was two. Anyway, I am slowly getting over that and hoping that someday she will reach out to me again and realize how hurt I was.

Dave and Buster's soon...Transformers soon...both of which, I hope to see with a cute HT boy.

For Scott

There were t-storms....

and I was in a different county.